Why do so many good women who really deserve better, allow themselves to stay in abusive or crappy relationships? I know there is always the issue of them being so mentally wound up and believing they are not worth something real, and that is what frustrates me to no ends >.<

My last attempt at a real relationship started out great. We started dating after chatting for a bit, and things seemed and felt great. She had come out of a bad relationship in which she was not cared for, poor communications, no positive reinforcement, and general disinterest in family life as she also had a young child.

After about 3 months of building up the relationship, and hearing from her that it was the best thing she ever had, out of no where, over the course of 1 week, she became distant to me, wouldn't communicate, didn't want to get out and do things together or as a family... nothing! Then I am told that she didn't know how to say things to me, because her creep of a boyfriend managed to wiggle his way back into her life by basically telling her everything she wanted to hear, and swore up and down promising he had changed his ways.

Well, long story short, it devastated me, and was the biggest reason why I took a 4+ year time out from dating / relationships. Because I was told that I treated her so nice, and was everything she wanted, but her mind was still programmed to go back to her crappy ex because she had been with him for 4-5 years. I found out a few years later, things went bad again for her after a few months of getting back with him, and she keeps letting him come back each time.

It is really sad when this happens to anyone, especially to you ladies who deserve to be treated the right way. I hear so many say they "understand" and know what a real relationship should be like, and even tell me what they need and want in a relationship... but they can't gather the mental fortitude to stand up for themselves and convince their self that they are worth something really good. So that is why I feel that many truly good guys always come in last... because we don't know how to mistreat the girl we are with, and are "too nice".

I bring this up because after all these years, I finally meet someone who understands everything that should be in a real relationship, yet she is still caught up in the mental game with a guy she has been with for 5 years, even though he has treated her like total crap, lied non-stop, cheated, and tries to guilt trip her into thinking its all her fault!

I have to shake my head... I just don't understand you ladies who allow yourself to live life like this. Especially those who have kids. It's not fair to you, and its not fair to let your kid(s) be part of that crap either.