After reading the rants from "women" on here telling us about the things that turn them off, I thought that I should share what turns me off... And before you ask - yes each of these things HAS happened to me before and I really didn't like any of it:

1. Clinginess - I don't want a girl 15 minutes after I meet her to plan our next six months together. (yes that has happened to me before)
1a. Slutty - I don't want to hear how you have a hot tub at your apartment or you have a jaccuzi tub just waiting for us - it sounds slutty and wrong - some guys may find that a turn-on - I just find it gross.
1b. Cold - I just went out with you - while I don't expect you to put out, would it be really hard for you to at least shake my hand or dare I say it give me a hug if you had a decent time at the end of the date?

2. Physical - I don't want a girl to decide to hold my hand and walk down the street - right after we first met (yes that has happened to me before as well)
2a. Distant - if we are going out together at least walk beside me or something - don't walk behind me and don't walk in front of me either
2b. Until we start dating, I don't want to hold your purse and I don't want to hold your jacket except for maybe a short period of time TOPS. If you don't want to carry it, then don't bring it with you.

3. Chatty - I don't mind if a girl tells me about her friends and her interests, but I don't want to hear her rant about her husband or her boyfriend - you are with me - not with them.
3a Chatty in the wrong place and at the wrong time - yes I know that girls love to chat with each other especially if they bump into each other, but I really am not in the mood for you to recall your entire day to your 'girlfriend' who you bump into on the street - worse yet - don't yap on for 20 minutes and not introduce me to your friend. I don't want to date your friend, but at least have the courtesy of saying: "Oh this is Bob, we're going out tonight"
3b. Quiet - Look I know I can be a conversationalist but sometimes remember this is a two way street - why don't you ask some questions here besides "oh and you?" - think for yourself -- we are trying to get to know each other...
3c. Talking about other guys - I don't care if you have a crush on McDreamy or if you lust over the mailboy at work. Talk about them to your girlfriends - I am not one of them. Similarly, I don't want to hear about your penpal Tyrone who was wrongly accused of beating you or that you feel that Jeffrey Dahmer simply needed a woman to take care of him. You need help if you have those fantasies.
3d: Potty mouth - I don't mind an occassional f-bomb now and again and sure you can say shit and whatever, but if you start to sound like Sarah Silverman with Tourette's we have a serious problem here.
3e: Racist - I don't EVER want to hear you EVER call someone a gook, a nigger or a spic or make fun of Jews or anyone of any ethnicity. The minute you do that, I walk out and you get your own ride home. I'll even leave in the middle of dinner and I'll pay for my part of the meal and leave you there. Go ahead, call the cops, tell your girlfriends I am a jerk, I don't care - it's nasty, it's immature and wrong. If you want to date Adolf Hitler because he was misunderstood, go for it - just don't tell me.

4a. Use manners - I don't want to walk down the street with you and watch you try to blow your nose by holding one nostril and honking your nose -- I don't even want to see you spit on the ground - please - were you brought up in a barn or something?
4b. Wear something appropriate for the date - if we are going on a hike - yeah wear something casual, if not - wear something that is appropriate for the occassion - word to the wise here, while yes looking hot with low rise jeans is hot, you're clearly not doing that to impress me, you want others to look at your ass crack and not me so wear something decent - and no I don't think you need to wear a Burkah, just use common sense.
4c. Try to look nice for the date - put on decent make up and don't bathe in perfume especially cheap stuff. I don't want to feel like I want to puke when I smell you and I don't want to hide my eyes when I see you with 6 layers of foundation and 4 different colors of eye shadow because they do it in the fashion magazines. It looks horrible and stupid.

5. Materialistic - While yes I understand that you don't want to date some poor shlub, I don't want to hear you yap on about your new house or how you have a luxury car when it's clear that you couldn't afford it with the salary you are making (I don't care if you got it through legit or otherwise means, it still gives me a bad taste in my mouth)
5a. Materialistic (part 2): conversely, don't ask me my salary or my investment strategy - I am not going to share with you my bank account information. Similarly, don't ask me about my living situation - if I can ask you out on a date, I can take care of myself and of the date. I don't live with my parents, but I really don't need to be judged because I don't have a 3BR/2BA house in Palo Alto or a 2BR/2BA flat in Pac Heights. My money, my business, not your concern - got it?

6a. "Liberated" - don't feel like you have to pay for everything just because I took you out the first (or maybe even the second) time - and yes that means I took you out - I am still a gentleman and I do believe in taking a girl out on a date -- if you feel awkward about that, get over it - and don't think that because I am doing it it means I want in your pants. I just am a nice guy (yeah there are some of us out there still). Once we get to know each other and feel a bit more comfortable - and you really feel comfortable with me, then we can talk about splitting the check or you pay - even then I'll push back.
6b. "Entitled" - just because I am paying for the meal doesn't mean that you should buy the most expensive meal you have ever eaten before, eat a few bites and say your full or even dare I say it, take a bag home so you can have it for the next day or for your pet - come on... I am taking you out for that night - not to feed you for a week.
6c. "Alcoholic" - if every time we go out on a date and you have to buy 2 beers to make yourself relax, that's a big problem. I am not in the mood to be your drinking buddy from the outset. Now I understand that wine bars and the like are interesting, but if you start thinking that we should go to the gym and then go get hammered afterwards, we have a problem here.

7. Fake life - don't tell me that you work somewhere and say you are something you aren't or don't tell me you are going to school saying you are studying something when you know you aren't especially if you think that will make us think you are better than what you are. I believe that education is important and having a good job is important, but don't fake it with me - because I can tell and if you lie to me about that, then who knows what else you'll lie to me about.
7a. False humility - if you are very successful that's great - I like smart successful women. Don't tell me simply that you are in marketing if you are the global senior VP of marketing - that's fantastic - I won't be jealous - in fact I'll be impressed because it shows you have drive - and drive is good.

8. "Fashionable" - okay I don't wear $200 pairs of jeans and I don't like those frou-frou linen shirts with a floral pattern or tee shirts with a bunch of weird crap written on it - last time I checked, I am an adult and I like to wear nice clothes and it doesn't mean that I am going to mortgage my house so I can buy a stylin' wardrobe so that you will think I am good arm candy. Similarly, I am not the type of guy to fly to Italy to buy $4,000 suits for work either. Don't worry though, I don't wear shit from Target or from Kohls or even Wal*Mart - I go to Macy's, Nordstrom and Saks and occassionally Neiman Marcus to buy my clothes - but you will never know because I like to look nice, but not pretentious or even worse, childish.

Thoughts?